Relationships

I remember a post I wrote a long time ago about my dog Sammie. Sammie loves to hunt outside. She will spend hours outside with her nose to the ground hunting something. I’ve gone outside I don’t know how many times trying to figure out what it is that she was hunting. I’ve never figured it out. And I don’t think Sammie has either. At one time I compared my hunt for a relationship to Sammie’s search. I was searching for something but not quite sure what it was, and not quite sure what I would do with it if I ever caught it.
 
And it’s true.
 
Like Sammie, I was unsure of what it is I was looking for, and I was unsure of what to do with it when I found it. And it’s been a little bit of an adjustment to me lately while I’ve had to figure out just what it is I want to do with this relatively new relationship I’ve found myself in.
 
Relationships are not easy. I told someone the other day that being in a relationship is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Ironically enough.  I never thought that being single would be easier. But it is.  Is it better? It depends. In my case? It’s not. A good relationship is worth it.
This idea was reiterated when I heard someone say that you choose to love someone and you choose to stay in a relationship. She said that sometimes she thought it would be much easier to walk away than stay and work it out. This was coming from someone who had been in a relationship with the same person for years. 
 
I was hanging out with some friends of mine the other night, and one of my friends told me that she had never seen me look as good as I did that night. And I attributed a little of that to my relationship. She did too. I’m going to be cheesy for a moment and say that it’s been a long time since I’ve been this happy.
 
Yes, relationships are hard work, but a good relationship is worth it. It takes good communication, a lot of trust, and a willingness to compromise.  And maybe the hardest thing for me is that willingness to compromise. For a long time, I’ve had the attitude of “it’s my way or the highway” but that doesn’t work in a relationship. And it’s probably one of the harder lessons I’ve had to learn.
 
It’s about priorities. You make that person a priority and they do the same for you.
 
It’s quite refreshing actually.
 
And worth the effort when the effort is returned.
 
Here’s to great relationships and spring break and Easter! Let us not forget the true reason for this holiday!
 
Peace! 
 
I’m out!

Kings of Leon

My New Favorite Band…..

You know how much I love music. If I’m not writing about life or relationships, I’m writing about music. I go through my phases. I go through my country, 80’s, heavy metal, weirdly alternative phases. And lately I can tell my tastes or phases changing again. My new favorite bands are not as heavy as they were, I’m not listening to as much Deftones, A Perfect Circle, or Alice in Chains. I’m listening to Lifehouse, some country, and my new favorite band, Kings of Leon. A friend of mine played this song on the jukebox a few weeks ago, and seriously, I thought this was an 80’s song that I’d never heard before. It reminded me so much of Bruce Springsteen or Eddie and the Cruisers. But, it’s not. It’s a band that is new. I was surprised. So, if you haven’t heard this song or any others by Kings of Leon and you like a little 80’s sounding band, you should check them out.

For now, I’m off to enjoy a nice, quiet weekend at home.

Peace, ya’ll.

I’m out!

You Might Want Some Wine With This Cheese Part II

Well, five days until Valentine’s Day. It’s a perfect day to continue my cheesy love songs post. And speaking of Valentine’s Day gifts, what are some of your favorite gifts you’ve received, or even given for that matter? As of right now, I have no clue what I’m getting for my Valentine. And if I did, I wouldn’t post it. Who knows which of my posts he reads. If he reads any of them at all. J
Hmmmm…… I guess I have some thinking/shopping to do……

For now, I’ll continue my Top Ten Cheesy Song List

5. “Crazy for You” by Madonna

“Trying hard to control my heart
I walk over to where you are
Eye to eye we need no words at all
Slowly now we begin to move
Every breath I’m deeper into you
Soon we two are standing still in time
If you read my mind, you’ll see “
Puh-leeeze…Does this really happen? And yet, I still know every one of these lyrics.

4. “Hero” by Enrique Iglesias
“(Whispered) Let me be your hero

Would you dance if I asked you to dance?
Would you run and never look back
Would you cry if you saw me crying
Would you save my soul tonight?
Would you tremble if I touched your lips?
Would you laugh oh please tell me these
Now would you die for the one you love?
Hold me in your arms tonight?”
This is the only song on my list that truly makes me want to hurl with it’s over-top-sugary-sweetness. Would I tremble if he touched my lips? ROFL….. Jeesh.
3. “From Here to Eternity” by Michael Peterson
“I saved a year for this ring
I can’t wait to see
How it looks on your hand
I’ll give you everything that one woman needs
From a one woman man
I’ll be strong I’ll be tender a man of my word
I will be yours.”
Now, this one is a little less well known than the others, but omygod it always makes me sappy. I think I even tear up a little. Well, maybe I exaggerate just a little. But it always gets an “Awwwww” outta me.

2. “To Make You Feel My Love” by Garth Brooks
“When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven’t made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I’ve known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
I’d go hungry, I’d go blind for you
I’d go crawling down the aisle for you
There ain’t nothing that I wouldn’t do
To make you feel my love”
Every time I hear this song I think of Harry Connick, Jr. in Hope Floats. That man can feel my love any day.  But, is it cheezy? “I’d go hungry, I’d go blind for you?” Yep. That’s pretty darn cheezy.

1. “Open Arms” by Journey

“Living without you, living alone
This empty house seems so cold
Wanting to hold you, wanting you near
How much I wanted you home

But now that you’ve come back
Turned night into day
I need you to stay”
There’s no way you can have any kind of top love song list without including this song. Cheesy or not. It is simply one of the best love songs there is. In my opinion anyway, and it’s my list so there. You can’t help but get a little starry eyed when you hear those first few notes on the piano and Steve Perry starts with….”Lying beside you, here in the dark, feeling your heartbeat with mine….” Everyone who knows this song and loves it is singing it by the time it gets to “So now I’ll come to you…..”
I think that would make the hardest heart melt, if only just a little bit. J

And that concludes Alisha’s Top Ten Cheesiest Songs.

Feel free to disagree. Feel free to add your own. J

For now, I’m off to burn me a cheezy song CD.

Here’s to Valentine’s Day, cheese, and great music. Well, except for the “Hero” song.
Cheers!
I’m out!

You Might Want Some Wine With This Cheese Part I

Ahhhh…..Valentine’s Day…..
The stores are already stocking the roses, soft cuddly teddy bears, the chocolate, the sweet and sappy cards.
And my usually well controlled cheesy side is running rampant. I have stars in my eyes. I sigh at the silly romantic commercials (Every kiss begins with Kay). It’s just downright ridiculous.
I’m a sap. I’ll admit it. I can’t help myself.
I guess there could be worse things I can be.
So, to satisfy my sappy side, I’ve decided to dedicate this blog to Valentine’s Day and romance in general.
How?
Another one of my musical blogs.
This one?

Alisha’s Top Ten Sappiest Songs
Here’s a look at the first five.

10. “This Year’s Love” by David Gray
“This years love had better last
Heaven knows it’s high time
And I’ve been waiting on my own too long
But when you hold me like you do
It feels so right
I start to forget
How my heart gets torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Feeling like you can’t go on”
Cheeeeezzzzzzzyyyyyyyyy.

9. “She’s Got A Way” by Billy Joel
I must be a sucker for simple vocals accompanied by piano.
“She comes to me when I’m feelin’ down
Inspires me without a sound
She touches me and I get turned around
She’s got a way of showin’
How I make her feel
And I find the strength to keep on goin’
She’s got a light around her
And ev’rywhere she goes a million
Dreams of love surround her ev’rewhere”

 

 

  

8. “Look at You Girl” by Chris Ledoux
Chris Ledoux was highly underrated in my opinion. This is probably one of the simplest and sweetest love songs ever.
“Just look at you, girl
Standin here beside me
Starlight on your hair
Lookin like a dream I dreamed somewhere”

7. “Hypnotize the Moon” by Clay Walker
Country music is synonymous with sap. The song and the video have always been favorites of mine.
“You better run for cover
You better hide your heart
‘Cause once you start to love her
You know you’ll never stop
She shines like a diamond
When she walks into a room
She could charm the stars
Hypnotize the moon.”

6. “Total Eclipse of the Heart”
“Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit helpless and I’m lying like a child in your arms
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit angry and I know I’ve got to get out and cry
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes”

Um…..yep…..cheeeezzzzzyyyyyyyyyy…….
And the list continues…..My next blog will be the top five sappiest songs. Feel free to add your suggestions.
For now, I’m off to get get some stuff done before we head to see Jr. Melancon play today in Scott. No Whiskey River today my friends, me, Ian, and the Sunday crew are breaking out and checking out something new.
Here’s to sappy music and Sunday afternoons.
Cheers!
I’m out!

Love at First Sight?

I was reading one of my cheesy romances the other day. You know the formula….girl meets boy, sparks fly, they fight, realize they’re made for each other and live happily ever after. These were some of the first books I ever read, and I really think they warped my mind. I think I read so many of them I thought this was how relationships were supposed to work out. So for years, I’ve searched for sparks. I’ve searched high and low for that love at first sight feeling, those butterflies, all that stuff. I’ve been convinced that people are fated to be together and when you meet that certain someone you JUST KNOW. Maybe that does happen. I don’t know. I’ve never experienced love at first sight. And certainly none of my best relationships have come from this. My best relationships (including my current one) have not been love at first sight. Were (and are, I guess) there sparks? Of course. But, I think the sparks came (come) from really knowing someone. At least for me. I LOVE dependability. I thrive on it. And I’m at my happiest in a relationship when I’m with someone I know and trust. Love at first sight? Maybe lust. Not love. I think that’s for the movies, and for the cheesy romances. Will I keep watching these movies, keep reading these cheesy romances? Of course. Just because I no longer really believe in love at first sight doesn’t mean I don’t believe in romance. Those are two entirely different things. And the most romantic holiday of all is coming up. What will I be doing this year for Valentine’s Day? It’s still early, but I already know, I’ll be spending my Valentine’s Day at the Rio parade. My absolute favorite Mardi Gras parade. Well, except for the Endymion parade in New Orleans. For now, I’m off to rest and relax and read some more cheesy romances. Here’s to love at second sight? Cheers!

Supermoms

 

I’m reading a book right now. Yeah, I do still read every now and then :) Not nearly as much as I used to. I just have a really hard time finding stuff to read that interests me.

I picked up a book yesterday, Red River. It’s by the same author who wrote Cane River, Lalita Tademy. I LOVED Cane River. It was a semi-fictionalized account of the Tademy from slavery to freedom. It was incredible. I just started Red River, but it’s already hooking me. 

I was reading last night while Keith and Ian watched a scary movie. For someone who used to watch every scary movie that came out when I was a teen, I’m sure a wimp now. I can’t even read a scary book anymore. Jeesh.

Anyway, I digress yet again. The book is set in the 1800’s, and the opening scene is the woman getting up an hour earlier than the man to cook breakfast and get the household going before he got up to work the farm.

I thought of how times have changed. Even since my grandparent’s time. I can remember staying the night with my grandma and grandpa and she’d get up and cook him breakfast and he’d get up when it was ready. Of course, by then he was retired so he would have his breakfast then go visit with his buddies.

My other set of grandparents were not that different. My Grandma still gets up and cooks breakfast and they work the cows and all that farm stuff.
Two generations later, I’m barely making it out of the door in time to go to work. Breakfast? What’s that? That’s that meal I sometimes cook on Saturdays or Sundays.

My mom is an awesome mom. She had and still has dinner on the table at a certain time a good majority of the time. Dad walks in at around four-four thirty and comes to the dinner table. It’s ready and waiting.

I tried to fit this mold that I grew up with. Trying to keep the house spotless and a home cooked dinner on the table. What did I get?

Frustration and disappointment. Feeling that I couldn’t be a Supermom because I couldn’t cook every night, or couldn’t get the house spotless all the time.

Hello?

Single mom here.

I’ve had to make a conscious effort to teach myself to cut myself some slack. So what if dinner is from a box? There’s food on the table, isn’t there? So what if the house isn’t spotless? There’s a roof over our heads, that I bought myself by the way.

It’s impossible to do two roles perfectly all the time. To be the breadwinner and the care-taker.I think that like me, a lot of women get upset with themselves because we put too much pressure on ourselves to be perfect; the perfect wife, the perfect mom, the perfect professional, the perfect friend. And we can’t. Number one we can’t be perfect. Number two we can’t possibly be everything to everybody. Something will suffer in the process.

It’s about balance. That’s another lesson I’ve had to learn. I can’t go out every night and still do a decent job in my career. But I can’t put in 50 hours of work each week and expect to have any kind of life, socially or with my family. But, I can go out a couple nights a week, cook dinner and clean house a few nights a week, and grade papers or make parent phone calls a couple nights.

See, B-A-L-A-N-C-E.

Something I’ve never been very good at. 
 
Does that make me a Supermom?

I don’t know.

Sometimes I think that in my next life I’d like to be a housewife. I’d like to get up, cook breakfast, get the kids off to school, clean the house, all that good stuff. And then sometimes, I think that I would go insane.

Who would I talk to?

I don’t know. My life is what it is and to be honest, I quite like it. No use wondering what might have been or what might happen.

And if I can get dinner on the table a few nights a week, and keep the cops from breaking down my door after mistaking my house for a crack house, I think I’ve done a pretty good job.

Maybe I’m not a Supermom, maybe I’m just a mom doing the best I can. And maybe that’s what we’re all doing.

For now, I’m off to have some breakfast.

Here’s to all the Supermoms out there. All of the moms doing the best they can.
Cheers!
I’m out!

5 More Great Voices in Rock

Under the “Lagniappe” section of my blog, I have a post titled “5 Great Voices in Rock Music”. Well, anytime you post a blog like that, I’ve discovered that as I’m listening to music, I think of even more songs/artists/lyrics, etc. that I should’ve added.

So, here’s five more great voices for your listening pleasure…..:)

1. Maynard James Keenan, A Perfect Circle

Maynard is actually the lead singer for Tool. I prefer A Perfect Circle over Tool. I don’t really like Tool to be honest, so it’s quite ironic that Maynard appears on this list.

2. Chino Moreno, Deftones

The Deftones are a little dark, not nearly as “Poppy” as Daughtry (who appeared in my original list), but once I heard this voice, I was hooked on this band.

3. Robert Plant, Led Zeppelin

How in the world this one got left off my original list, I have no idea! How can you leave Zeppelin off any list of the best in rock?

4. Ann and Nancy Wilson, Heart

5. And my personal favorite at the moment, Layne Staley, Alice in Chains.  Great lyrics and great vocals, how can you go wrong with that?

And there you go, five more great voices in rock!

Cheers!

I’m out!

Who’s Gonna Bail Me Out?

It’s been a long time since I posted a rant so I guess today’s the day. All these big companies are looking to Congress these days to bail them out. Granted, I understand what will happen to the economy if these companies do go under, but come on!

Where’s my bail out?

I get a measley $900 or so as part of an economic stimulus package (that apparently didn’t work, I’m still understimulated; i.e. broke!) and these companies get who knows how many times that. Well, a math person would know, but I just don’t feel like sitting and figuring all that out.

All Congress asked the car companies to do was cut salaries and they couldn’t do it. Or their union reps said they couldn’t do it. They may be bankrupt by the end of the year.

All those people out of work.

It’s a shame.

But, really, is it our government’s place to bail out all these companies?

And the more important question is, when is somebody going to do this for me? For the people who can’t afford new cars anymore? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. People in my tax bracket are the ones that take these hits the hardest. We make too much money for any kind of assistance, but yet we struggle month to month to put gas in our cars and food on the table. 

And no one bails us out.

Maybe we’re just too busy working two and three jobs that we’re too tired to go to Washington and make our voices heard.

I was watching a comedian last night, Kat Williams. He was talking about gas prices and he said there’s something wrong with America when you have to start making important life decisions at the gas pump.

“Did I eat today?”

And although slightly exaggerated, but not much. And although gas prices are going down, the economy isn’t getting any better. I don’t know about you guys, but everyone I know is really having to cut corners this year for Christmas.

It makes me really worry about the upcoming year(s).

Is our new administration going to make a difference?

I’m not talking about throwing money at me.

What about affordable health care for a change? What about tax cuts? What about long lasting changes that will help long after a check is spent? Throwing money around doesn’t change anything. It’s a temporary fix.

And if we continue to throw money at these big companies without any change what’s going to happen?

Nothing will ever change.

I’m glad there’s been major changes in the government. I want to SEE change. To be honest, when I voted, I voted for the one who wasn’t presently in office. It’s time for change. What we’re doing now obviously isn’t working.

Anyway, that’s enough of a rant for today.

It’s time for me to get some rest and relaxation before another hectic work week.

Here’s to change! May the upcoming New Year bring lots of change!

Positive change!

Peace!

I’m out!

Endings and Beginnings

“This is a story about a man named Eddie and it begins at the end, with Eddie dying in the sun. It might seem strange to start a story with an ending. But all endings are also beginnings. We just don’t know it at the time.”—from The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom.

A friend of mine gave me a copy of this book after my brother passed away. She said I probably wouldn’t want to read it now, but one day, when I was ready, she said I would.

So, I hugged her, thanked her, and placed the book on my bookshelf. And it sat there. And sat there. And sat there some more.

I’d pick it up occasionally. I’d look at it. I’d think about reading it. And then I’d put it back down.

For three years it sat on my book case collecting dust. I thought many times about trading it in for something I’d actually read, but always changed my mind.

Last year, one of my students was reading it. She told me it was one of the best books she’d ever read. So, I decided to give it a try. I came home. Picked it up, dusted it off, and opened it up.

And I don’t think I put it down more than twice until I finished it.

If you’ve never read it, you should. It is a story about Eddie and it does start with his death. After he dies, he goes on to meet five people whose lives he impacted.

I picked up the book again recently. I was teaching a lesson on writing a good “hook” and I was looking for some good examples. I again picked up this book, which now resides in my classroom library, and read again the opening line.

What a profound thought. All endings are also beginnings. We just don’t know it at the time.

I pondered it, knew I would end up blogging about it, and was just letting it simmer in the back of my mind. I had so many things I wanted to say, and I wasn’t quite sure which ones I really wanted to say.

Friday night, with these thoughts still fermenting, I ran into a group of old acquantainces. These acquantainces were part of an old relationship, a long time ago. I sat there with these people that represented another part of my old life, and sat there with a person who represents a part of my new life.

It was almost like a weird Christmas Carol thing. I could almost see what life could’ve been like if I’d stayed on one path. And I could see what my life is like now.

Which do I prefer?

My life now.

That particular path ending made me choose another. It darn sure wasn’t the easiest path to take, but it was the right one. And I learned so many lessons from each and every bump, crater, and dead end I hit.

That ending created a new beginning for me. It was a long beginning. But hey, I’ve always said I’m stubborn when it comes to learning lessons.

I’m sure I’ll have many other endings in my life, we all will. But, each and every time something ends for me, I’ll think of the potentially wonderful beginnings.

For now, it’s Sunday and I hear the cajun beats of Whiskey River calling my name.

Here’s to beginnings, endings, and the spaces in between.

Cheers!

I’m out!

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

 

When I think back to my childhood/teenage years, I remember my friends, of course. And I think of my family, and when I think of that family, my mom’s best friend Darlene is always a part of those memories.

Mom and Darlene were almost inseparable, almost like me and Christy or me and Ian. When you saw one you saw the other.

One of my favorite memories is one Halloween many years ago now. I was walking home from school. I only lived about three blocks away so sometimes I walked home, and sometimes my mom picked me up.  I always looked for her, and if I didn’t see her, I automatically started walking home.

This time, I looked, didn’t see her, so I started walking my merry self home. That’s when a car pulled up beside me. It was my mom and Darlene. Mom was dressed as a hillbilly man, two of her teeth were blacked out. Her hair was tucked under a ball cap and she was wearing worn overalls. Darlene was dressed as Dolly Parton. Now, if you knew my mom and Darlene, you know how well these parts fit them.

I was mortified.

It didn’t stop there.

When I didn’t immediately jump in the car, they decided to drive reaaaalllll slow next to me.

“Little girl, you need a ride?”

I pretended to not see or hear them.

They continued to creep beside me, continuing to yell.

I wanted a hole to open up and just swallow me up.

Only in small town America where everyone knows everyone could someone get away with this. In a bigger town, they’d be arrested probably. I finally got in, hoping that would end my teenage mortification.

This is just one story I can tell about my mom and Darlene’s escapades. When those two got together, there just wasn’t much telling what those two would do.

Until Darlene was diagnosed with breast cancer.

She fought with the sense of humor and strength that carried her through most of her life. I remember the last time I saw her. She was weak, bedridden, spending most of her time in a bed in her living room. I can’t tell you how sad this made me to see someone who had once been so vital, so filled with life, now so frail. Darlene succumbed to cancer a few years ago. And her presence has been missed by many.

My blog today is for Darlene and for National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. It’s time for all of us to get out there sometime this month and do something for those that have passed due to cancer, and for those who have survived.

My challenge to you is to do something this month to promote breast cancer awareness. Wear a pink ribbon. Make a donation to a cancer organization. Write a blog. If you like to run, see if there’s a Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in your area. Pass this blog along. Check out one of the websites I have listed at the bottom.

Get creative.

And share your stories with the rest of us. What did you do?

Me? I’m starting with this blog. I’m posting it here and on my MySpace site. I’ll continue to drop my change in the collection boxes at Albertson’s for the Race for the Cure, and whatever else I can think of to do this month.

For now, I’m off to get some rest.

Here’s to great friends like Darlene and to eventually finding a cure for cancer.

Peace!

I’m out!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Breast_Cancer_Awareness_Month

http://nbcam.org/

http://pinkforoctober.org/

http://www.mylifetime.com/community/my-lifetime-commitment/breast-cancer