Happy Endings and Unfinished Stories

I remember when I was writing All I Want and I wrote a blog/entry about knowing what I would do with a relationship if I found one.  I compared my hunt to my dog Sammie’s hunt for lizards.  She spends hour after hour, day after day, on the hunt for lizards.  Now, I’m quite sure I know that Sammie DOESN’T know what she’s going to do with that lizard if she finds it. 

Much like I didn’t know what to do with my relationship when I found it.  Or it found me.  Or we found each other. I can’t say we met and fell in love because that’s not how it happened.  In a very When Harry Met Sally kind of way, we had known each other for awhile before the thought of a relationship even crossed our minds.  And I’m not sure it ever really crossed our minds. 

I remember one night thinking, “I think he wants to kiss me.” 

And a couple nights later, he did.

I’d like to add the old cliche’ in “and we were inseparable ever since.”

But, I can’t.  We were inseparable before that, our relationship simply was. 

We did go through that rose colored glass phase, the wart phase, and the Alisha’s freaking out because she’s in a relationship phase. (Yes, that is a phase….one that has caused the tanking of several relationships)

That’s also the same phase as “Alisha’s In A Relationship and Doesn’t Know What to Do With it Phase.”

Luckily, with a lot of communication, compromise, and ALOT of patience, we’ve been able to make it through my neurotic phase as well.  Well, until the next one pops up. Which one would that be?  Hell if I know, I don’t think I’ve ever made it this far in a relationship.  This is a WHOLE new ballgame for me.

Cowboy made me think of my book again.  He just loves it that he has a starring role, and he brings it up every now and then. He asked if my bf had read the book.  I was like, “Ummm….No. I really don’t think he wants to either.” And considering the content, I’m probably right.

Cowboy said I needed to add my bf into my book to give it a happy ending.  For a while, I thought about it.  But, while I was pondering it, Cowboy said to the bartender, “There are no happy endings, only unfinished stories.” 

The more I thought about it, the more I realized how profound that statement was.  How much like it was like one of my favorite lines in any novel was, “All endings are actually beginnings” or something like that from The Five People You Meet in Heaven.

I thought about it while we were at the bar. 

I thought about it when we went to Cowboy’s to meet Cowboy.  When I thought of how I had gone to meet Cowboy there because I had such a huge crush on him.  When he had put his arm around me and I wondered if it meant something.

When I dancing with my bf (I really need to come up with an alias for him).  And watching Cowboy dance with other girls. 

When we had to keep our friend from going to get “Buckethead”.  (That’s a WHOLE other story.)

I thought of how right he was.  I can’t say that there was a happy ending with Cowboy.  There was never an ending.  The story simply changed.  It’s unfinished.

Just like me and my bf are unfinished.  A happy ending is still an ending.  And we haven’t ended.  Just like me and Cowboy, our stories have simply changed.

Happy beginnings?  Yes.  Happy adventures?  Yes.  Happy lessons learnd?  Yes. Yes. Yes.

But happy endings?  Definitely not.

Maybe there are no happy endings, maybe they should be called happy beginnings.

“All endings are also beginnings. We just don’t know it at the time…”….from The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom.

For now, I’m off to do some more writing.  Who knows, maybe it’s time to dust off that query letter for All I Want and submit it one more time. 

Peace, ya’ll!

I’m out!

Sharpening The Knife

After a three year hiatus from a serious relationship, I’m finding that navigating the waters of new relationship to be a bit of an adventure.

Being single definitely has it’s advantages.  You answer to no one.  You get the whole bed to yourself.  You get to learn about you and what you want. 

But, I’m learning that being in a good relationship has it’s advantages too.  You have someone to laugh with, to share things with, and you get to continue to learn about yourself and what you want.

But, like being single, it’s not all rosy.  What happens after that initial glow rubs off?  When you start to see the warts, when you have your first fight?  That’s when the REAL adventure kicks in. 

I was talking with a friend of mine recently, sharing some of of my frustrations when he asked me, “Alisha, have you ever had a knife?”

I look at him with my puzzled pug look, “Of course I have.  Why?”

“Has that knife ever gone dull?”

“Yes.”  I’m still confused.  I have no clue what this has to do with my relationship.

“Alisha, sometimes you have to sharpen the knife so it continues to work.”

And just like that it made sense.  Sometimes you have to sharpen the knife of your relationship.  After that initial rush wears off, it can get dull.  It’s up to the two of you to do what needs to be done to sharpen it back up.

How do you sharpen it? 

Commitment

Cooperation

Communication

Having a sense of humor and a willingness to inject a little wackiness into the relationship seems to work as well. 

After all, I wouldn’t be me without a little wackiness.

For now, I’m off to enjoy a little rest and relaxation.  This wacky girl is tired. 

Here’s to new adventures and “sharpening the knife”!

Cheers!

I’m out!

Warts

A friend of mine wrote an awesome comment on my blog the other day, she said she loved her husband, warts and all.  I’ve thought alot about that statement.  About how true it was.

When you first start dating someone you’re so excited.  You think this is the best relationship EVER!  You are so lucky!  He is soooooo PERFECT!!!  You can’t believe you lived this long without having this person in your life.

It’s kind of like what Eddie Murphy says about the cracker.  If you haven’t eaten in a long time and someone throws you a saltine, you think it’s a Ritz.  It’s the best cracker EVER!  You can’t believe you’ve lived this long without this cracker.

THEN, you’re looking at the other person one day, and you start to think, “What is that on his/her face?”

It’s a wart.  And why haven’t you noticed it before?  It could be the insomnia you’ve been experiencing from either doing the deed or thinking about doing the deed or it could be the rose colored glasses you’ve finally taken off.

So you deal with the wart.  It’s not that big. 

You go along back on your merry way.  You’re having a good time.  Things are going well.  

THEN……

You look at that wart again.  What’s that?  Hair?  There’s a hair in the wart!

EWWWWWWW!!!!

Now you have to stop and evaluate.  Can you live with this wart? Is this something you feel like you can look at every day for the rest of your life?  

Maybe the wart is not picking up the laundry, not picking up the tab anymore, or picking his nose.  Who knows?  Everyone has different warts and everyone has different warts they find in their partners. 

Maybe it’s just finding someone whose warts we can live with and who can live with ours.  

Who knows?

Right know, what I know is that it’s time for me to get some sleep.  After this blog, I think I’m definitely sleep deprived.

Here’s to my friend, her great comments, and warts.

Peace, love, and crawfish!

I’m out!

Compromise and Paint

A couple of weeks ago I posted a blog about relationships, I said that being in a relationship was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. And that’s still true. In some of my past relationships it’s always been “it’s my way or the highway” and that was true on both parts; mine and the guy. We’d fight, break up, get back together, and the cycle would continue.

Compromise has never been easy for me in relationships. I guess when you’re a single mom for a long time you just get comfortable with making decisions. It really is your way because that’s the only way it can be.

Here’s an example.

Last year around this time I started dating a contractor and began redecorating my house. Well, the relationship fizzled (apparently I’m not very good with men with small kids) and I was left with several projects unfinished. A half painted kitchen being one of those projects.

I decided over spring break that instead of hanging out on the beach with some friends of mine, I should stay home and finish. The main reason for this is my parent’s coming for a visit in late May.

I went to Home Depot to look for some color ideas. Something to go along with some tile I wanted for my backsplash. After much wishy-washing and going back and forth, I decided on a green. I find a picture in a Southern Living magazine of a kitchen that I like and the cabinets are the same green.

I asked BF, who lives in the house and has to live with the colors I choose what he thinks, “I don’t care.” he tells me.

Okay, we’re going with the green.

We’re on our way to Home Depot when he tells me, “I really don’t like green”

“What?”

“I really don’t like green.”

“Ok, well what color do you like?” I ask him.

“Maybe A wine color.”

“Okay.”

I pick out a few colors, ask him which one he thinks is the best.

“I don’t care.”

I have the paint man mix me up a gallon.

“Here’s your purple.” he tells me.

Purple? PURPLE?

I get it home, open it up, sure enough. It’s kinda the color of eggplant.

UGH.

I decide to give it a try. I paint a little of it on the kitchen drawer. I let it dry.

I hate it.

I now have a gallon of eggplant colored paint and have no idea what I’m going to do with it.

I think for a little bit, pull out a couple more magazines and find a kitchen I like with red cabinets. I ask again. “Do you like this color?”

“It’s red.”

“Yes. It is”

“Whatever you think.”

“Okay, we’re going with the red.”

I run back to Lowe’s get the red and start painting. And actually I really love the color. It reminds me of Sooner red which is really kind of funny since I live with a Tiger fan.
Hee, hee!

We’re in Home Depot a couple of nights ago to pick up some more paintbrushes (my kitchen project has now become the never ending kitchen project) and I decide to look at some kitchen countertops.

The first one we get to is a beautiful kitchen. I love it. It has glass cabinets, honey colored cabinets doors, and even the countertops are pretty.

“I like it” BF tells me. “I especially like the green walls.”

This green is the same green color I wanted to paint my cabinets.

“You’re kidding right?” I ask him.

“No,” I really like it…What?” He asks as I walk away.

“I’m about to choke you.” I tell him and at this point, I’m only half joking.

Green. I make my Homer Simpson noise and head to the paint brushes.

As a single girl, the decision would be easy. There would be no discussing, I’d simply make up my mind and go with it. Right or wrong, it was my decision to make. And giving up that freedom has been hard. I’m not very good at it.

I guess it’s one of the lessons I need to learn. I can not be in control all the time. And it can’t be “my way or the highway” all the time.

Compromise.

Unless you’re talking about paint.

Heehee!

For now, I’m off to do some more painting. Go Sooner Red!

Here’s to learning new lessons and home improvements!

Cheers!

I’m out!

All Work and No Play

I was reading a magazine article recently.  It said one of the biggest misconceptions women have about what their lives should be is that their lives should be balanced. And I have to agree.  The more I try to balance my life, the more UNBALANCED it becomes. And the more frustrated I get.

I was thinking about that today.  Most of you know I work two jobs.  I have a full time teaching job and I work part time as a bartender. Usually on the weekends, but lately, I’ve been working double shifts on Saturdays.

Try balancing two jobs, being a single mom, a girlfriend, a housekeeper, a teacher, a sister, a daughter, a friend, and any other hat I wear.

It cannot be done. 

Something suffers.  It may be the housework, it may be that those papers don’t get graded until another day, or that dinner isn’t always home cooked. 

And what happens to me in the process?

I get worn out.  I’ve never been able to find balance so reading this article was like a godsend to me.  I realized that I’ve been searching for the Holy Grail, and let me tell you, my search is more Monty Python than reality.

So last week, I work my five days at my teaching job, work Saturday night, then get up this morning already thinking of all I need to get done.

It was enough to make me pull my hair out.  I needed to clean the kitchen, finish painting the cabinets, do laundry, the list goes on and on.

You know what I did?

I chucked my mental list into my mental trashcan and hit the road. 

I went to the flea market, browsed around.  Went to Lowe’s and bought some vegetables for my new little veggie garden, went and visited with some friends.  And on my way back, another friend called and asked me to meet her at the festival. 

So  I went.

I had a blast.  I was sitting there relaxing, listening to the good music and feeling the sun on my face, the wind in my hair and I realized I don’t take enough time to do that.  I go and I go and I go until I poop out and can’t go anymore.

I wear myself out.  And I know I’m not the only one who does this. 

I was reading my little devotional book earlier and it said man (and I’m assuming woman) wasn’t meant to work all the time.  That we needed breaks to rejuvenate ourselves.  What a timely lesson that is for me.

I need to take breaks for me.  So that I don’t wear myself out.

After all, the old adage is true…..All work and no play makes Alisha a very dull (and a very tired) old girl.

So, I made a decision today.  This week, I am going to finish those cabinet doors.  And then, we’re packing up the Saturn and hitting the road.  We’re packing the tents, the ice chests, and heading out.  Where we end up who knows.  All I know is I’m going to take some time to relax.  To enjoy some sun.  Maybe do some crabbing and shrimping and have a big old boil right on some beach. 

I’m excited already.

For now, I’m off to rub some aloe on this sunburn I acquired today.  It was well worth it.

Peace ya’ll!

Here’s to a great week!

I’m out!

Les Claypool is the (Bass) Man!

One of the perks of my second job is the internet jukebox. All kinds of different people come in playing all kinds of different music. I get exposed to artists that I probably listen to otherwise.

One of my new favorite bands is Primus. Well,  Les Claypool, the bassist. I love the way he plays the bass. It’s so different, and to me, unique. I can’t think of another bassist that sounds the same. If you listen to their other songs like “Mr. Krinkle”, the music revolves around his bass.  I love it.

I’m all about different and unique.

Anyway, just thought I would share. For now, I’m off to get some rest. I have a big day of painting tomorrow. Fun, fun!

Here’s to great music!

Peace! I’m out!

BTW, if you have a moment, check out the blog nod I got from the Authentic Times Blog! Woo-hoo! I’m getting noticed!

http://authentictimes.com/authenticblogs

Relationships

I remember a post I wrote a long time ago about my dog Sammie. Sammie loves to hunt outside. She will spend hours outside with her nose to the ground hunting something. I’ve gone outside I don’t know how many times trying to figure out what it is that she was hunting. I’ve never figured it out. And I don’t think Sammie has either. At one time I compared my hunt for a relationship to Sammie’s search. I was searching for something but not quite sure what it was, and not quite sure what I would do with it if I ever caught it.
 
And it’s true.
 
Like Sammie, I was unsure of what it is I was looking for, and I was unsure of what to do with it when I found it. And it’s been a little bit of an adjustment to me lately while I’ve had to figure out just what it is I want to do with this relatively new relationship I’ve found myself in.
 
Relationships are not easy. I told someone the other day that being in a relationship is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Ironically enough.  I never thought that being single would be easier. But it is.  Is it better? It depends. In my case? It’s not. A good relationship is worth it.
This idea was reiterated when I heard someone say that you choose to love someone and you choose to stay in a relationship. She said that sometimes she thought it would be much easier to walk away than stay and work it out. This was coming from someone who had been in a relationship with the same person for years. 
 
I was hanging out with some friends of mine the other night, and one of my friends told me that she had never seen me look as good as I did that night. And I attributed a little of that to my relationship. She did too. I’m going to be cheesy for a moment and say that it’s been a long time since I’ve been this happy.
 
Yes, relationships are hard work, but a good relationship is worth it. It takes good communication, a lot of trust, and a willingness to compromise.  And maybe the hardest thing for me is that willingness to compromise. For a long time, I’ve had the attitude of “it’s my way or the highway” but that doesn’t work in a relationship. And it’s probably one of the harder lessons I’ve had to learn.
 
It’s about priorities. You make that person a priority and they do the same for you.
 
It’s quite refreshing actually.
 
And worth the effort when the effort is returned.
 
Here’s to great relationships and spring break and Easter! Let us not forget the true reason for this holiday!
 
Peace! 
 
I’m out!

Kings of Leon

My New Favorite Band…..

You know how much I love music. If I’m not writing about life or relationships, I’m writing about music. I go through my phases. I go through my country, 80’s, heavy metal, weirdly alternative phases. And lately I can tell my tastes or phases changing again. My new favorite bands are not as heavy as they were, I’m not listening to as much Deftones, A Perfect Circle, or Alice in Chains. I’m listening to Lifehouse, some country, and my new favorite band, Kings of Leon. A friend of mine played this song on the jukebox a few weeks ago, and seriously, I thought this was an 80’s song that I’d never heard before. It reminded me so much of Bruce Springsteen or Eddie and the Cruisers. But, it’s not. It’s a band that is new. I was surprised. So, if you haven’t heard this song or any others by Kings of Leon and you like a little 80’s sounding band, you should check them out.

For now, I’m off to enjoy a nice, quiet weekend at home.

Peace, ya’ll.

I’m out!

You Might Want Some Wine With This Cheese Part II

Well, five days until Valentine’s Day. It’s a perfect day to continue my cheesy love songs post. And speaking of Valentine’s Day gifts, what are some of your favorite gifts you’ve received, or even given for that matter? As of right now, I have no clue what I’m getting for my Valentine. And if I did, I wouldn’t post it. Who knows which of my posts he reads. If he reads any of them at all. J
Hmmmm…… I guess I have some thinking/shopping to do……

For now, I’ll continue my Top Ten Cheesy Song List

5. “Crazy for You” by Madonna

“Trying hard to control my heart
I walk over to where you are
Eye to eye we need no words at all
Slowly now we begin to move
Every breath I’m deeper into you
Soon we two are standing still in time
If you read my mind, you’ll see “
Puh-leeeze…Does this really happen? And yet, I still know every one of these lyrics.

4. “Hero” by Enrique Iglesias
“(Whispered) Let me be your hero

Would you dance if I asked you to dance?
Would you run and never look back
Would you cry if you saw me crying
Would you save my soul tonight?
Would you tremble if I touched your lips?
Would you laugh oh please tell me these
Now would you die for the one you love?
Hold me in your arms tonight?”
This is the only song on my list that truly makes me want to hurl with it’s over-top-sugary-sweetness. Would I tremble if he touched my lips? ROFL….. Jeesh.
3. “From Here to Eternity” by Michael Peterson
“I saved a year for this ring
I can’t wait to see
How it looks on your hand
I’ll give you everything that one woman needs
From a one woman man
I’ll be strong I’ll be tender a man of my word
I will be yours.”
Now, this one is a little less well known than the others, but omygod it always makes me sappy. I think I even tear up a little. Well, maybe I exaggerate just a little. But it always gets an “Awwwww” outta me.

2. “To Make You Feel My Love” by Garth Brooks
“When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven’t made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I’ve known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
I’d go hungry, I’d go blind for you
I’d go crawling down the aisle for you
There ain’t nothing that I wouldn’t do
To make you feel my love”
Every time I hear this song I think of Harry Connick, Jr. in Hope Floats. That man can feel my love any day.  But, is it cheezy? “I’d go hungry, I’d go blind for you?” Yep. That’s pretty darn cheezy.

1. “Open Arms” by Journey

“Living without you, living alone
This empty house seems so cold
Wanting to hold you, wanting you near
How much I wanted you home

But now that you’ve come back
Turned night into day
I need you to stay”
There’s no way you can have any kind of top love song list without including this song. Cheesy or not. It is simply one of the best love songs there is. In my opinion anyway, and it’s my list so there. You can’t help but get a little starry eyed when you hear those first few notes on the piano and Steve Perry starts with….”Lying beside you, here in the dark, feeling your heartbeat with mine….” Everyone who knows this song and loves it is singing it by the time it gets to “So now I’ll come to you…..”
I think that would make the hardest heart melt, if only just a little bit. J

And that concludes Alisha’s Top Ten Cheesiest Songs.

Feel free to disagree. Feel free to add your own. J

For now, I’m off to burn me a cheezy song CD.

Here’s to Valentine’s Day, cheese, and great music. Well, except for the “Hero” song.
Cheers!
I’m out!

You Might Want Some Wine With This Cheese Part I

Ahhhh…..Valentine’s Day…..
The stores are already stocking the roses, soft cuddly teddy bears, the chocolate, the sweet and sappy cards.
And my usually well controlled cheesy side is running rampant. I have stars in my eyes. I sigh at the silly romantic commercials (Every kiss begins with Kay). It’s just downright ridiculous.
I’m a sap. I’ll admit it. I can’t help myself.
I guess there could be worse things I can be.
So, to satisfy my sappy side, I’ve decided to dedicate this blog to Valentine’s Day and romance in general.
How?
Another one of my musical blogs.
This one?

Alisha’s Top Ten Sappiest Songs
Here’s a look at the first five.

10. “This Year’s Love” by David Gray
“This years love had better last
Heaven knows it’s high time
And I’ve been waiting on my own too long
But when you hold me like you do
It feels so right
I start to forget
How my heart gets torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Feeling like you can’t go on”
Cheeeeezzzzzzzyyyyyyyyy.

9. “She’s Got A Way” by Billy Joel
I must be a sucker for simple vocals accompanied by piano.
“She comes to me when I’m feelin’ down
Inspires me without a sound
She touches me and I get turned around
She’s got a way of showin’
How I make her feel
And I find the strength to keep on goin’
She’s got a light around her
And ev’rywhere she goes a million
Dreams of love surround her ev’rewhere”

 

 

  

8. “Look at You Girl” by Chris Ledoux
Chris Ledoux was highly underrated in my opinion. This is probably one of the simplest and sweetest love songs ever.
“Just look at you, girl
Standin here beside me
Starlight on your hair
Lookin like a dream I dreamed somewhere”

7. “Hypnotize the Moon” by Clay Walker
Country music is synonymous with sap. The song and the video have always been favorites of mine.
“You better run for cover
You better hide your heart
‘Cause once you start to love her
You know you’ll never stop
She shines like a diamond
When she walks into a room
She could charm the stars
Hypnotize the moon.”

6. “Total Eclipse of the Heart”
“Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit helpless and I’m lying like a child in your arms
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit angry and I know I’ve got to get out and cry
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes”

Um…..yep…..cheeeezzzzzyyyyyyyyyy…….
And the list continues…..My next blog will be the top five sappiest songs. Feel free to add your suggestions.
For now, I’m off to get get some stuff done before we head to see Jr. Melancon play today in Scott. No Whiskey River today my friends, me, Ian, and the Sunday crew are breaking out and checking out something new.
Here’s to sappy music and Sunday afternoons.
Cheers!
I’m out!